Why is it that we’re often wired to react more intensely to negative events than positive ones? And why do we tend to remember insults more than praise?
It might be because we often get ourselves into thinking traps — where our negative thoughts spiral and make things out to be worse than they truly are. These cognitive distortions can impact our coping skills and ways of being in the world, so it’s important to recognize them.
Some common cognitive distortions, according to Mental Health America (MHA), include…
Overgeneralization. This is when we make a broad, sweeping statement when we may only have one small piece of information.
Personalization. This is when we blame ourselves or take things personally that really aren’t in our control or, truthfully, about us.
Filtering. This is when we focus on the negative details of a situation while ignoring the positives.
All-or-Nothing Thinking. This is when we only see the extremes of a situation.
Catastrophizing. This is when we think the worst, blowing things out of proportion and focusing on the very worst possible outcome.
Jumping to Conclusions. This is when we make a judgment or decision without having all the facts.
Emotional Reasoning. This is when we feel that our feelings are the full truth without taking others’ feelings into the mix.
Discounting the Positive. This is when we explain away all positives as just luck or coincidence.
‘Should Statements. This is when we “should” on ourselves — what we should be doing, should be thinking — and make ourselves feel guilty in the process.
Challenging Negative Thoughts
To get out of these types of thinking traps, MHA recommends challenging negative thoughts by…
Reframing. This is viewing the situation in a different way. “It can be hard to do this when you’re feeling down on yourself, so ask yourself what you’d tell your best friend if they were saying those things about themselves.”
Proving Yourself Wrong. Take action to combat negative thoughts. Learn something new if you’re not feeling smart about another topic. Call a friend if you’re feeling lonely or like no one cares. “Give yourself evidence that these thoughts aren’t entirely true.”
Countering Negative Thoughts with Positive Ones. Say something nice about yourself to counter a nasty inner dialogue. “Name things you love, like, or even just don’t hate about yourself — we all have to start somewhere!”
Remembering That Thoughts Aren’t Facts. We can be our own worst enemies, seeing ourselves in a negative light when others see us much more positively. “Your thoughts and feelings are valid, but they aren’t always reality.”
Source: Mental Health America, Tools2Thrive
Find other tools like this that you can use within our NEW Building Students’ Soft Skills: Empowering Agency and Interpersonal Abilities – A Facilitation and Teaching Guide.
