When it comes to using the correct identifying pronouns, we’re all bound to make mistakes. “It is therefore important to acknowledge and take responsibility for our mistakes and to actively commit to do better in the future,” according to the University of Oregon’s (UO) Division of Student Life. They offer some ways to do just that…
When It Comes to Misgendering or Misnaming. UO explains that “It can be hurtful and harmful to be referred to by the wrong name, pronoun, or other gendered words such as ladies or guys.” So, they suggest, “In conversation, if you make a mistake, apologize, correct yourself, and move on. Refrain from explaining intent or over-apologizing for making a mistake, as this places the person you harmed in the position of needing to comfort you and/or excuse your behavior.”
When It Comes to Issuing Thoughtful Apologies. “If this is a growth area for you, practice,” encourages UO. "If you find yourself repeatedly misgendering someone, it is important to apologize sincerely and thoughtfully. Then, and on your own, take the time and initiative to reflect on your behavior to try to understand why you are continuing to make such mistakes. Recognizing that repeated pronoun errors may begin to feel intentional or thoughtless, continue to practice on your own time and with others and/or resources…”
Source: “Understanding Pronouns,” Division of Student Life, University of Oregon
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